What I’m Thankful For

Gratitude and Covid-19 don’t usually go in the same sentence. But when my husband Steve and I recently tested positive, that is very much what I felt. Grateful we were fully vaccinated and boosted, with only cold-like symptoms. Grateful the positive result came one day before a scheduled trip to New York. And most grateful that if we had to get sick, it did not happen anywhere near our wedding last year or when we were flying regularly between NYC and Orlando.

Within about a week, we were feeling better and we’re back to our normal routine now.

“Good health – physical, mental, emotional — is everything,” my mom used to say. “With it, all things are possible. Without it, nothing else matters.”

Covid aside, this holiday season has brought sobering reminders of how true this is.

Earlier this month, my beautiful friend Rachel died of colon cancer. Just like when dear friend Molly passed away from breast cancer six years ago, I am devastated to see someone so young and vibrant taken. Molly was 45, Rachel only 38.

Rachel was beautiful inside and out.

Truly incandescent souls, it doesn’t seem possible both of them are gone now.

My cousin says God needed Rachel to come home to be an angel, to be part of a bigger plan. An angel for sure, she made the transition of moving to Orlando from New York less lonely for me. After being introduced through a mutual friend, we clicked immediately. Though I mourn the memories we will not have, I cherish the ones we shared and will be forever grateful to have known her.

One of Rachel’s favorite things was Hallmark holiday movies. This year, for the first time and in her honor, I watched several. Spirited and fun – much like her – they injected an additional dose of festive cheer into the season. My favorites: the NYC-set Hanukkah on Rye, Eight Gifts of Hannukah and A Castle for Christmas.

A Castle for Christmas: Cary Elwes and Brooke Shields are delightful together

I’m especially grateful that I’m beginning to feel more settled into life as a Floridian. Little by little, I am putting down roots here. Getting to know Orlando better, slowly making friends and soon, moving to a new house. Can’t think of a better way to ring in 2023.

Me and my guys. Photo: Lori Barbely

Most of all, I remain overwhelmingly grateful for the blessings of married life with Steve and our beloved pup Benji. These two give me so much. I feel like the luckiest woman in the world to share my days with them.

Happy New Year!

From NYC to FL…At Last

After almost three years of long-distance love with my new hubby Steve, I am finally a full-time Florida resident. I’ve been asked a lot whether it is bittersweet to leave New York. Thankfully, I can honestly say the answer is no.

I truly made the most of my many decades in NYC. Raised by a Bronx-born Mom and Brooklyn native Dad, I grew up fortunate to experience the city’s vast arts and entertainment offerings. Childhood outings to Broadway musicals and shows at Radio City fueled a passion that continues to this day. After spending most of my twenties working in TV news and living in small towns like Bangor, Maine and Dover, Delaware, I returned to the Big Apple determined to take advantage of everything I missed while I was gone. Which is exactly what I did.

Only in NYC. Clockwise from top: Backstage at Kinky Boots on Broadway.
At a black-tie Oscars Party. With Ricky Martin at the Hispanic Federation Awards.
With Jennifer Grey at a Dirty Dancing 25th anniversary screening.

Concerts, theater, only-in-New York events — I maintained a pretty full, action-packed schedule during my thirties. Because, well, that’s the whole point of living in New York. With so much going on all of the time, FOMO was a real thing long before it became a trendy acronym. Upon turning forty, though, I started to crave a less frenetic lifestyle. Visits to New Jersey and Long Island had me longing for a suburban hometown where the views are of greenery instead of tall buildings.

Our picture perfect porch view in Casselberry, Florida.

That yearning prompted an ill-fated move to L.A. in 2016. So I have been ready for a different zip code for quite a while now, a fact of which I was reminded during a visit to Rise NY in Times Square.

Rise NYC is a fantastic, must-do experience. (Photo Credit: RiseNY.co)

Billed as part ride and part museum, the recently opened attraction dazzles on both fronts. Rise NY begins inside a replica of the city’s very first subway station, with a short documentary narrated by actor Jeff Goldblum. The engrossing, well-curated exhibit takes you all the way back to when New York was founded, tracing the city’s rich history through the lenses of pop culture, finance and more. From the technology that made skyscrapers possible to iconic moments in music and fashion, Rise NY covers it all.

All smiles in Rise NY’s TV section with Oscar the Grouch.

And the grand finale doesn’t disappoint. Giving Disney’s similar Soarin’ Around The World ride at Epcot a run for its money, the epic 4-D journey suspends you thirty feet in the air, flying over NYC’s majestic skyline. Highlights include the Empire State Building, Brooklyn Bridge, July 4th fireworks and Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade balloons. It culminates in a birds’ eye view of the Times Square ball drop on New Years’ Eve.

As Jay-Z’s “Empire State of Mind” played, I found myself a little misty-eyed realizing it is the end of an era for me. The hometown that I love so dearly — and always will — is no longer home. But that’s okay. Love turned this city girl into a beach babe.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

NEW YEAR, NEW BEGINNINGS

Like everyone else on Planet Earth, I was happy to bid a not so fond farewell to 2020. A new year brings hope and the promise of renewal, both of which are badly needed right now. I’m counting the days until this pandemic is over and we can be with loved ones freely and safely again.

As I think about what I’m looking forward to in 2021, I also think about the new chapters this year will bring for me. Personally, professionally and creatively, I’ll be taking on some long-awaited new titles.

For quite a while now, my job title hasn’t reflected the scope of what I do. As a Marketing Manager at Starwood, I went from supporting one NYC hotel to juggling three properties — with no title change. At The Pierre Hotel, I accepted a position with a downgraded rank, confident I could change that. Which is what happened two years later, when I was promoted to Associate Director of Marketing. Getting laid off because of COVID-19 made an exciting new role possible — Senior Vice President of Marketing/PR for Illusso.

Lisa and I are excited to be part of the Illusso team

Founded by my favorite Starwood boss and mentor, Illusso’s mission is to help independent luxury hotels recover and rebound from these challenging times. I’m so proud to be part of this great venture, one which also reunites me with talented dear friend and Turn Key Designing founder Lisa.

The second new title for me this year will be one that I’ve dreamt about since childhood — author. From blogging to journaling (I’m currently on volume #107) and pretty much every job I’ve ever had, writing has always been a big part of my life. I’ve spent a lot of the pandemic working on my memoir. It’s an undertaking that has given me an even deeper respect for authors. The great and prolific Jane Austen completed her entire body of work — six novels — in just seven years. It’s taken me a decade of writing on and off to close in on finishing Tales from A Former Bachelorette. Of course, it wasn’t until a few years ago that my book finally had its happy ending, when I fell madly in love with my now-fiancé Steve.

Love this guy so much.

Which brings me to the third and most life-changing title I’ll take on this year — wife. After rescheduling our wedding twice because of the pandemic, Steve and I are planning to say I Do in November. We’ve been together for almost two years now and I’m still awestruck by this extraordinary man, still overwhelmed with gratitude that we found each other. At 47, I feel like I’m bringing my best, most fully realized self to our relationship. It took this long for me to be able to say that, but that’s okay. As my future husband has shown me, it’s never too late for love to come into your life and wondrously change it forever.

Happy Valentine’s Day all!

Reflections During A Pandemic

It’s been three months since my last blog post – the longest gap in years. Like all of us, I’ve been trying to process how our lives and the world have changed during this unimaginable time.

In March, I got engaged to the love of my life Steve on another memorable sailing of the 80s Cruise. Having gone through a lot to find each other mid-life, we were excited to celebrate with family and friends, to enjoy the fanfare that such a happy, long-awaited milestone receives from those you love most. As soon as we got home, though, it was clear this wouldn’t be possible anytime soon.

In the week we were away, the coronavirus COVID-19 had escalated dramatically, claiming my beloved New York as its epicenter. Two days before the state’s shelter-in-place order took effect, I left for Florida to be with Steve. The eerie quiet at JFK was a haunting reminder of when I flew right after 9/11. Walking toward my gate, I passed runway after runway of idle planes. My flight had 100 empty seats. As the plane took off and I caught a fleeting glimpse of NYC’s beautiful skyline, questions weighed on me. When would I see family and friends again? What would a post-pandemic New York look like when I returned?

All these weeks later, the uncertainty still overwhelms me at times. My heart breaks for those lost to COVID-19, for their loved ones and my home state. While New York has only 6% of the U.S. population, it accounts for 27% of all domestic coronavirus cases – and more than any other state or country. Expanded testing suggests nearly 25% of New Yorkers have contracted COVID-19. Statistics, of course, only tell part of the story. The devastating scale of this pandemic hits home when death news becomes a daily thing on your Facebook feed. A friend’s grandfather. A former colleague’s dad. A friend’s beloved co-worker, just 29 years old.

It’s sadly ironic. What coronavirus has stolen from its victims is also what it has given the rest of us more than we know what to do with – time. If there has ever been a moment in history to appreciate this precious commodity, it’s now. I felt such appreciation on a deep, visceral level a few years ago, after coming out of my suicidal depression. And I vowed to never take for granted the incredible gift that, whatever storms life may bring, I’m still here.

Quarantine life is a roller coaster for sure. But even with the ups and down, or maybe because of them, it has also opened my eyes to being fully present in the moment and to what the pandemic cannot take away. The comfort and joy of being with my future husband and our beloved pup. The pleasures of comfort food (limited edition Tiramisu Oreos, yes please!). The escapist fun of 80’s movies that still make me smile (Breakin’ 2, Goonies and The Golden Child). The connectivity and conveniences of modern technology.

I often think about those who lived through the Spanish Flu pandemic of 1918. They had to face it without being able to text, email or video call loved ones or schedule virtual doctor visits. And without a slew of on-demand TV, movie and gaming options to entertain them at home. Steve and I have been binge watching Downton Abbey and Schitt’s Creek. It’s such a pleasure catching up with the Crawleys again and the Roses’ escapades never fail to provide much-needed comic relief. If you’re looking for additional recommendations and quarantine tips, check out The New York Times’ At Home and USA Today’s Staying Apart, Together e-newsletters.

USA Today also has a great roundup, 100 Things to Do Inside During A Pandemic. I’ve done #10 (face masks), #18 (match lids to Tupperware containers) and #33 (make a classic cocktail – hello again, French Martini). It’s #48 — make a list of things for which you are grateful – that has been most soul soothing.

Every night, I write in the One-minute Gratitude Journal by Brenda Nathan. No matter what bad news or quarantine frustrations comes, I’m always able to fill my daily entry. Among the varied items eliciting gratitude: going out in public without a bra, spotting a butterfly while walking Benji and finding my favorite Krustaez waffle mix back on store shelves.

Quarantine selfie with my sweetie

Most of all, I’m grateful that the transition from a long-distance relationship to being together 24/7 has been a seamless one, a beautiful confirmation of what a great team we are and how well we complement each other.

My Dad used to say that you know you love someone when you don’t have to be out on the town or doing anything, really, to be completely content. That’s exactly how I feel being at home with Steve and Benji. The simple joys of being together mean everything. It’s never mattered more to know, pandemic or not, I’ve got my dream guy and my dream dog by my side. Blessed doesn’t even begin to cover how I feel.

Stay safe and well, everyone.

A Friend-tastic Year

Friends are the family we choose for ourselves — that’s always been one of my favorite sayings. It’s never felt truer, especially when I think about this year.

2018 gave me many cherished opportunities to reconnect with dear friends near and far.

Lisa and me in CO

This summer, I spent a wonderful week in Colorado with Lisa, who I go back with more than 30 years. A loyal confidante and supporter, Lisa is someone I’ve always looked up to. We share a unique and rare bond, one which intensified following the untimely passings of our beloved parents. Though God knows it’s something you never want to have in common, He also knows what it means to have a friend who fully understands that loss console you. What is more, Lisa met my Mom and Dad and I met hers. Though we were out of touch for a few years, we picked up right where we left off during my visit, laughing and talking effortlessly for hours. Time and distance are no match for true friends.

I was reminded of that again when I caught up with friend Vania for the first time in a while. We met about 10 years ago, clicking immediately during a girls night out at the rooftop bar of NYC’s Peninsula Hotel.

Vania and me at my holiday party

A vibrant spirit with a knack for bringing people together and razor-sharp sense of humor, she is also a great listener. Vania and her delightful boyfriend Dave joined me at The Pierre for two outdoor summer events as well as for my recent annual holiday party. They are a perfect fit for each other and such fun to be around.

When it comes to fun, there’s been no shortage of that and so much more with longtime friend Marilyn.

Marilyn and I at The Pierre’s Two E lounge

A beloved part of my life for 27 years now, Marilyn has become like a second mother to me with her unfailing wisdom, understanding and zest for life. She came East from Ohio in September to visit her lovely daughter Karen and the three of us enjoyed afternoon tea at The Pierre. Marilyn stayed over and we talked into the wee hours of the night, continuing a longstanding tradition whenever we see each other.

A pair of work trips brought my dear friend of 25 years Camilla to NYC. Born and based in Norway, Camilla and I lived on the same floor during my junior year in London. I’m even more in awe of her now than I was then.

Camilla and me

A married mother to three beautiful girls, Camilla ably juggles her career with parenthood and a strong, loving relationship of more than 20 years. Over brunch and a stroll through Chelsea Market, we fell into easy conversation about life, love, politics and more. The time flew by. I haven’t been to Norway since Camilla’s gorgeous wedding 11 years ago, so I think I need to start planning a return visit!

Speaking of weddings, last month I headed down to Miami for the nuptials of my dear friend Taslin.

With the beautiful bride

Taz and I met at journalism school 20 years ago, quickly bonding over academic demands and adventures in dating. Her effervescent spirit and thoughtfulness meant so much as I dealt with the passing of my mom six weeks after school started. It filled my heart with joy to be there for her special day. Taslin and longtime love Ross exchanged vows at sunset on the beach in an intimate, moving ceremony that made me believe in happily ever after all over again.

A November benefit for the non-profit Hopeland reunited me with Chicago native Shantel, in town to produce the first-class event.

All smiles with Shantel at the Hopeland Gala

I first connected with Shantel about 10 years ago, when she was a producer for the Oprah Show and one of my PR clients was Tourism Queensland. We worked on a fun segment together and remained in touch. It was through her then-day job that she became acquainted with Hugh Jackman, whose wife Deborra Lee Furness founded Hopeland. Hopeland’s mission is to help protect children at risk and keep families together. They are doing incredible work and I was thrilled when Shantel told me about it and my hotel The Pierre was able to support the event’s silent auction. She did a fantastic job coordinating the A-list entertainment, which included knockout performances from Hamilton’s Ari Afsar and The Greatest Showman’s Keala Settle.

Natalie and me at my holiday party

Last but most definitely not least, 2018 provided two fantastic weekends with my 80s cruise BFF Natalie. In June, we met up in Vegas for the finale of my beloved Ricky Martin’s All In residency at MGM’s Park Theater. More recently, Natalie came in from Ohio for my annual holiday party.

I was over the moon to share this magical time of year with her. In just 3 years of friendship, Natalie has already given me a lifetime’s worth of unconditional love and support, becoming a cherished friend as well as a favorite travel companion.

I am profoundly blessed and beyond thankful to have all of these incredible women as part of my chosen family. Looking forward with great anticipation to more adventures with each of them in 2019.

Happy New Year all!

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Forward

Fat Tuesday & A Return To The 80s

For over four years now, one of my favorite things to do in NYC is share a meal with my good friend Stacy. A foodie like me, Stacy has a knack for picking fabulous retaurants.

We headed over to CajunSea. Unexpectedly tucked away in Koreatown, CajunSea serves up  seafood and more with Southern flare. The restaurant also has  fantastic happy hour specials–including oysters and $5 martinis (the lychee martini is perfection). I enjoyed steamed lobster with corn and potatoes, while Stacy had a spicy seafood boil.

Over dinner, we talked about work, the Academy Awards and my recent big trip–on the second annual 80s cruise.

Jessie’s Girl rocked every concert they did on the 80s cruise. Best 80s cover band ever!

Like the inaugural sailing last year, this year’s itinerary featured nightly concerts with beloved 80s artists and awesome NYC-based cover band Jessie’s Girl, themed costume events (including neon night, Purple Rain and rock versus hip hop) and four Caribbean ports of call. It gave me the chance to reconnect with a lot of amazing people, most especially my dear friend Natalie, who I met on the 2016 cruise.

Natalie and me on neon beach party night

The week long journey was also a much-needed break from the negativity that seems to pervade so much of our national conversation these days. It was a beautiful reminder of the joy that comes from celebrating what connects us – particularly when that celebration has an 80s soundtrack. 

The Reason For My Hiatus

It’s been awhile. In fact, in the eight and half years that I’ve been blogging, this–three months– is the longest I have gone without posting anything.

When a longtime reader and friend  emailed to ask about the lapse in communication, I told her why. I also confided in another friend, and both of them encouraged me to share likewise here. So here goes…

The reason for my silence is that I’ve been going through a rough patch, navigating a difficult depression. I say difficult because, even though that qualifier sounds redundant and I have been through bouts of depression in years past, this one has been especially tough–intensified by the hard transitions ups and downs of the last year.

As anyone who’s gone through depression knows, it makes you feel isolated and hopeless–which is why I hesitated to write about it. Because I have always tried to offer positivity and joy on my blog. I didn’t want to let anyone down by admitting how much I’ve been struggling.

Thankfully, I have tremendous support from family and friends. Their love and understanding has given me strength when I felt I had none left, and reminded me how blessed I am to not be alone.

I still don’t feel quite like myself yet. And the adage one day at a time has never been more true for me. But I am grateful to be back in the city I love and surrounded by an incredible support system. They help me have faith that eventually, I’ll find my way again.

Two All-time NYC Favorites

I recently had the pleasure of catching up with two friends I hadn’t seen in awhile–over dinner at two of my favorite NYC restaurants.

First, I enjoyed a night out in the neighborhood with gal pal Lisa. We headed to Ko Sushi, a cozy Japanese eatery on the UES that never disappoints (best shumai dumplings ever and yummy sushi rolls).

An accomplished magazine editor and travel writer, Lisa shares my lifelong passion for NYC and I always love hearing about her latest adventures in and out of our hometown. We also talked about the profound blessing of being happy in our respective careers and never taking it for granted.

My good Stacy and I reconnected over drinks and appetizers at Pershing Square. This laidback bistro and bar right across from Grand Central serves up delicious bistro fare in a comfortable setting ideal for conversation.

Pershing-Square-Cafe-NYC-865-461

Pershing Square Cafe (photo courtesy: pershingsquare.com)

We had plenty to talk about — from memorable concerts and developments at work to the soul soothing joys of travel.

As Stacy shared her recent jaunt to London, I felt a wave of nostalgia for my other favorite city–the only place I love as much as NYC.

Well, almost as much.

Cruising Around NYC With CitySights

One of my favorite things to do is play tourist in my hometown. I recently got to do just that, thanks to an invitation from Citysights NY to try one of their sightseeing cruises.

cruise view

Even with overcast skies, NYC’s skyline never disappoints

Though the weather wasn’t ideal (overcast and chilly), the trip more than made up for it.

BFF Sara joined me for the 90-minute twilight cruise, which covers every borough except one (the Bronx) — and offers fascinating insights into the past, present and future of NYC.

bridge

NYC’s majestic Brooklyn Bridge

Our tour guide Michael, who proudly informed us he hasn’t missed a boat ride in 15 years, was one of the best I’ve ever experienced. An engaging combination of Manhattan moxie and salt of the earth charm, Michael couldn’t be a better ambassador for this great city.

As we approached the Statue of Liberty in the distance, he encouraged passengers not to stand up right away.

“We’re going to get close enough to her that you can ask for her number if your wife will let you,” he quipped, adding. “It’s we the people, not me the people.”

All smiles in front of Lady Liberty

He regaled us with historical facts, pop culture trivia and poignant reflections on such defining moments as the first immigrants to come through Ellis Island and 9/11.

When we thanked Michael upon disembarking, I informed him we were locals and had a great time.

“Praise from Caesar!” he said without missing a beat.

Well deserved.

Whether you’re a native New Yorker or just visiting, a Citysights NY cruise is a great way to see the city. For tickets and more info, click here.

Farewell To 2014

With 2014 drawing to a close, I’m feeling the inevitable wistfulness that accompanies turning the calendar page. It’s been a year of breakthroughs and new beginnings for me — on several fronts.

As always, family and friends were by my side for all of 2014’s milestone moments. From celebrating the big 4-0 in January to making the front page of The New York Times’ travel section in August, my nearest and dearest made the joys sweeter and the sorrows infinitely more bearable.

3ofUs

Celebrating the big 4-0 with my brothers Ray (left) and Steve

For the first time, I found myself seriously considering a move out of New York. But after multiple trips to potential new hometown L.A., I realized it was a change of perspective and not a change of zip code that I needed. The experience of attending Oprah’s The Life You Want event in September hastened this long overdue mental shift.

Oprah

Oprah!

The two-day event at Newark’s Prudential Center offered wisdom and inspiration from Miss O, Rob Bell, Mark Nepo, Elizabeth Gilbert and Iyanla Vanzant. One of the mantras that truly hit a nerve came from Iyanla–

“The life you want is on the other side of the labor pains to birth it.”

That’s when I finally (!) realized I have literally been living in the past. And so began the cathartic process of changing my home from being about my deceased parents to being a reflection of me. Repainting, decluttering and discarding has never felt so good.

Of course, no recap of the last 12 months would be complete without reflecting on my love life. This year, I have been reminded several times that people appear, and in some cases, reappear exactly when they’re supposed to. 2014 gave me the opportunity to make amends and reconnect with two significant others.

Just before Thanksgiving, I was reunited with someone special I dated last year. During a wonderful evening together, we effortlessly picked up right where we left off. I apologized for the times that I wrongfully held him accountable for previous romantic disappointments. As always, he responded with understanding and tenderness – reaffirming for me how fortunate I am to know him.

More recently, I heard from an ex-boyfriend I dated when I was in my twenties and then again briefly nine years ago. He too gave me and taught me so much during the time we were together. He made the most of the connection we had while completely respecting that we were at different stages of life.

When we reconciled back in 2005, I was recovering from a recent breakup and ended up hurting him as a result. I should have reached out to him sooner to say how badly I felt about it. Being the wonderful person he is, he took the initiative instead – giving me the opportunity to express my remorse and reiterate how much I will always value what we’ve shared over the years.

I am ending 2014 exactly where I should be, with a clean slate emotionally and the desire to look forward and not back. Maybe life really does begin at 40.

Happy New Year!

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