Reflections During A Pandemic
It’s been three months since my last blog post – the longest gap in years. Like all of us, I’ve been trying to process how our lives and the world have changed during this unimaginable time.
In March, I got engaged to the love of my life Steve on another memorable sailing of the 80s Cruise. Having gone through a lot to find each other mid-life, we were excited to celebrate with family and friends, to enjoy the fanfare that such a happy, long-awaited milestone receives from those you love most. As soon as we got home, though, it was clear this wouldn’t be possible anytime soon.
In the week we were away, the coronavirus COVID-19 had escalated dramatically, claiming my beloved New York as its epicenter. Two days before the state’s shelter-in-place order took effect, I left for Florida to be with Steve. The eerie quiet at JFK was a haunting reminder of when I flew right after 9/11. Walking toward my gate, I passed runway after runway of idle planes. My flight had 100 empty seats. As the plane took off and I caught a fleeting glimpse of NYC’s beautiful skyline, questions weighed on me. When would I see family and friends again? What would a post-pandemic New York look like when I returned?
All these weeks later, the uncertainty still overwhelms me at times. My heart breaks for those lost to COVID-19, for their loved ones and my home state. While New York has only 6% of the U.S. population, it accounts for 27% of all domestic coronavirus cases – and more than any other state or country. Expanded testing suggests nearly 25% of New Yorkers have contracted COVID-19. Statistics, of course, only tell part of the story. The devastating scale of this pandemic hits home when death news becomes a daily thing on your Facebook feed. A friend’s grandfather. A former colleague’s dad. A friend’s beloved co-worker, just 29 years old.
It’s sadly ironic. What coronavirus has stolen from its victims is also what it has given the rest of us more than we know what to do with – time. If there has ever been a moment in history to appreciate this precious commodity, it’s now. I felt such appreciation on a deep, visceral level a few years ago, after coming out of my suicidal depression. And I vowed to never take for granted the incredible gift that, whatever storms life may bring, I’m still here.
Quarantine life is a roller coaster for sure. But even with the ups and down, or maybe because of them, it has also opened my eyes to being fully present in the moment and to what the pandemic cannot take away. The comfort and joy of being with my future husband and our beloved pup. The pleasures of comfort food (limited edition Tiramisu Oreos, yes please!). The escapist fun of 80’s movies that still make me smile (Breakin’ 2, Goonies and The Golden Child). The connectivity and conveniences of modern technology.
I often think about those who lived through the Spanish Flu pandemic of 1918. They had to face it without being able to text, email or video call loved ones or schedule virtual doctor visits. And without a slew of on-demand TV, movie and gaming options to entertain them at home. Steve and I have been binge watching Downton Abbey and Schitt’s Creek. It’s such a pleasure catching up with the Crawleys again and the Roses’ escapades never fail to provide much-needed comic relief. If you’re looking for additional recommendations and quarantine tips, check out The New York Times’ At Home and USA Today’s Staying Apart, Together e-newsletters.
USA Today also has a great roundup, 100 Things to Do Inside During A Pandemic. I’ve done #10 (face masks), #18 (match lids to Tupperware containers) and #33 (make a classic cocktail – hello again, French Martini). It’s #48 — make a list of things for which you are grateful – that has been most soul soothing.
Every night, I write in the One-minute Gratitude Journal by Brenda Nathan. No matter what bad news or quarantine frustrations comes, I’m always able to fill my daily entry. Among the varied items eliciting gratitude: going out in public without a bra, spotting a butterfly while walking Benji and finding my favorite Krustaez waffle mix back on store shelves.
Most of all, I’m grateful that the transition from a long-distance relationship to being together 24/7 has been a seamless one, a beautiful confirmation of what a great team we are and how well we complement each other.
My Dad used to say that you know you love someone when you don’t have to be out on the town or doing anything, really, to be completely content. That’s exactly how I feel being at home with Steve and Benji. The simple joys of being together mean everything. It’s never mattered more to know, pandemic or not, I’ve got my dream guy and my dream dog by my side. Blessed doesn’t even begin to cover how I feel.
Stay safe and well, everyone.
