Sep 16
NEVER HAVE I EVER: 2023 MILESTONES
One of my favorite shows, Never Have I Ever, recently ended its four-year run. Brilliantly written and developed by Mindy Kaling, the Netflix series was a pure delight from start to heart-tugging end.
During the final episode, protagonist Devi and her high school friends engage in the game from which the show takes its name. Following their lead, I’m reflecting on 2023’s significant firsts.
Until this year, never had I ever…
Hosted a podcast. For 18 years now, my husband Steve has delighted listeners around the globe with his award-winning podcast Stuck in the 80s. In March, we became a two-show household when I launched Open Book: The Diary of A Hopeless Romantic. Drawn from more than 100 journals, it has given me the chance to revisit my past in a fun way. And to celebrate once again how everything that I’ve gone through brought me to this beautiful present.
Attended an event as a published author. Every year on Independent Bookstore Day, the Oxford Exchange in Tampa hosts a book fair highlighting indie authors. In April, I had the pleasure of being one of them. The afternoon event featured dozens of writers representing diverse genres, from fiction and self-help to YA and supernatural. Connecting with fellow authors — and being reminded I am now part of this great community — was beyond inspiring. So inspiring, in fact, that it sparked new creative momentum for me and my hubby. Since the book fair, I have been plugging away on a revised, expanded version of Notes from A Single Gal In The City, while Steve is working on a memoir about his much-beloved podcast.
And, saving the biggest first for last, never have I ever…
Lived in a house of my own. Growing up in the concrete jungle of New York City, I always resided in apartments. As an adult, especially after adopting my beloved pup Benji six years ago, I fantasized about having a home with a back yard. That dream finally came true in January, when Steve and I moved to Orlando’s Dr. Phillips neighborhood.
Nestled on a bucolic, tree lined street, our dream house has everything that apartment living did not — high ceilings, a spacious eat-in kitchen and a lanai that nourishes my spirit in a way that only being surrounded by nature can. Oprah once said your home should rise up to greet you every time you enter it. Ours does this and so much more.
Speaking of new homes, my blog is also getting one. While I will always be a New York City Gal, that descriptor no longer reflects who and where I am now. So I am moving future musings to my namesake website. Hope you’ll visit me over there — and heartfelt thanks for nine great years on here!
Jul 8
Celebrating My First Year With Benji
One year ago, I drove out to a home in Queens to pick up my foster dog Benji. As soon as the front door opened, Benji ran right to me, affectionately jumping up like he knew he was coming home. In that moment, I knew too–this was my baby.
It didn’t take long after he stole my heart for Benji to confirm that we are kindred spirits. Like me, he loves to eat, sleep and travel. And how we have traveled together! Over the last 12 months, we’ve been to Delaware, Maine, Ohio and Las Vegas. Whether we’re going by plane, train, ferry or car, Benji takes it all in stride–something that rarely go unnoticed.
Every time we hit the road, especially while in flight, at least one person remarks in astonished awe about his calm, easy temperament. Not a bark or a peep during 5+ hours on a plane! His only request–to come out of his carrier so he can sit on my lap and look out the window. Watching him enjoy the sky-high view has quickly become one of my favorite things.
Of course, we’ve gone through our share of trials too. From food poisoning and eating a toxic chestnut to surgery on his front right leg, Benji has braved it all with grace and courage as I have been a nervous wreck.
I often wonder what Benji’s life was like before we found each other. Who was his family before? How could they have abandoned this extraordinary creature? Then I think about how grounded, affectionate and well behaved he is and I know he was loved by whoever had him first. And I thank them for taking such good care of him until God decided it was our time to be together.
Much has been said about the healing powers of animals and I know why. No matter what challenges life may bring or what kind of day I’m having, seeing Benji’s sweet face makes it all disappear. Just before I adopted him, one of my best friends said he would fill all the spaces. Indeed he has, in ways I never anticipated.
Until I brought Benji home, I viewed my life in two very different parts–with and without my parents. Their painful loss is, thank God, no longer what defines me. Now, I think of the timeline of my life as being before and since Benji. There are no words to describe what this changed perspective has meant for me. Though I will always miss my parents, the heaviness in my heart has finally lifted, replaced by the soul renewing comfort of having Benji. He is my best friend.
French poet Anatole France said until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened. Truer words were never spoken.
Happy Gotcha Day, lovebug!
Nov 15
Career Talk With The Next Generation
One of the best decisions I’ve ever made was to go to Mount Holyoke College. In addition to providing a liberal arts education, my alma mater gave me the opportunity to learn in a setting where I was surrounded by smart, inspiring and compassionate women–several of whom remain dear friends to this day.
Building upon the solid foundation I was given by my late, beloved parents, MHC reinforced that no dream or goal is impossible if you’re willing to work hard and stay open to learning. And when you attend a women’s college, you also see that gender doesn’t have to determine how far you go–a lesson I cherish even more now as the floodgates have opened about sexual harassment and toxic environments in multiple industries.
Mount Holyoke Women: Ahu and me
There is a feeling of sisterhood that bonds you with fellow MHC alums–even if you didn’t connect on campus. I had the pleasure of rediscovering this recently, when I was invited by class of 96’er Ahu to participate in a career panel at Meredith Publishing for visiting MHC juniors and seniors.
I said yes immediately–then found myself feeling more than a little anxious. Put me in front of a camera or on a karaoke stage, no problem. Public speaking? Cue the nerves, intensified by this being my first such engagement and wanting to impart something of value to these future grads.
Fortunately, I relaxed as soon as I felt the positive, inquisitive energy from the 20+ women before me. Given how circuitous my professional path has been, I wanted them to know that there is more than one way to get to where you want to go. In an era when hyper specialized majors are common and millennials tend to think they need to have their entire future mapped out, it felt good to share a different perspective. And to reflect on my varied career.
I graduated from college with dreams of TV news stardom. The winding road of that part of my career took me to places glamorous (Sydney, Australia) and places…less so (Bangor, Maine, Southern Illinois, Dover, Delaware). After seven years in the business, a freelance writing gig for fellow J-school alum and highly-regarded travel journalist Valarie D’Elia led to my next chapter—hospitality PR and marketing. Thirteen years later, I am blessed to still love my job and look forward to work every day.
As I told the MHC students, at graduation I never imagined doing what I do. But now I can’t imagine doing anything else. So thankful to my alma mater for preparing me well for the zig zag trajectory my career has taken. And, of course, for connecting me with amazing women I’m proud to call friends.
Aug 25
An Important Anniversary
One year ago today, I found myself somewhere I never thought I would be–the inside of a psychiatric ward. Like 16 million other Americans, I was suffering from depression, one that seemed to only intensify with each passing minute.
As days stretched into weeks, I reached a point where I thought I would never feel like myself again. Which made the prospect of not living anymore seem frighteningly appealing. In reflecting on how far I have come since then, I am also thinking a lot about what it took to pull me back from the brink. Along with my strong spiritual faith, what carried me to the other side more than anything was the tremendous support and care that I received from loved ones.
Family drew in close. Most especially my aunts, Titi Nancy and Titi Lydia, cousins Aidita, Alexandra, Andrew, Carla and Marcella, sisters-in-law Barb and Pris and, of course, siblings Ray, Steve and Hilary.
Friends near and far rallied around me. I am profoundly grateful to Molly, for being my lifeline when the darkness took over while I was in L.A. I am beyond thankful to Julie, Tiffany, Natalie, Sara, Guida, Viva, Heidi, Jackie, Cindy, Caroline, Marilyn, Pam, Jenn, Donna, Lee, Bobbi, Lauren, Louise, Dave, JP and Steve. And forever indebted to my two Lisas–Lisa R. for giving me a home and TLC when I needed it desperately; Lisa L. for brightening up so many of my long days in the hospital. And every single person who reached out to me after I shared on here what I was going through.
March 31st, 2017: A selfie to commemorate the turning point of three consecutive days not feeling depressed.
Many years ago, a wise person told me the redemptive part of going through trials in life is it makes you more empathetic to other’s hardships. It also heightens to a visceral place your appreciation for the fragility of life–and desire to make the most of the time you’re given.
One of the high points after returning to my beloved NYC was going to see the musical “On Your Feet” with dear friend Natalie. There’s a part of the show that deals with singer Gloria Estefan’s bus accident. As her post-recovery anthem, “Coming Out of The Dark” played, the words resonated with me on a much deeper level—
Starting again is part of the plan
And I’ll be so much stronger holding your hand
Step by step I’ll make it through I know I can
It may not make it easier but I have felt you
Near all the way
Coming out of the dark, I finally see the light now
And it’s shining on me
I see the light
Coming out of the dark I know the love that saved me
You’re sharing with me
Thank God for new beginnings.
Jun 1
Why I’m Smitten All Over Again
Years ago, during my Single Gal In The City days, a blog reviewer astutely identified my most successful love affair. That love affair is blossoming anew as I rediscover the many joys of life in the Big Apple.
Even on a cloudy day, still the world’s most beautiful skyline.
One month into my job at the legendary Pierre Hotel, I am truly savoring every workday. From a picturesque location directly across from Central Park to talented and welcoming colleagues—The Pierre has reminded me why I love what I do. Hospitality attracts creative, dedicated and generous people. And it offers the opportunity to be immersed in everything that makes the Big Apple so special.
Girls Night Out: With dear friends Sara (left) and Natalie (right) and my beloved cousin Alexandra.
Over the last week, I’ve been to three Broadway shows (Present Laughter, On Your Feet and Cats—all must sees!). I’ve taken in the sweeping views from Top of The Rock and walked the High Line with one of my best friends. I’ve enjoyed a girls night out that included dinner at Rosa Mexicano in Union Square and seeing the always awesome Jessie’s Girl. And I’ve enjoyed a beer garden and five-star cheese shop in Williamsburg. On the work front, I’ve helped to launch an exciting upcoming outdoor event and I’ve become acquainted with a delightful, accomplished opera singer who shares my passion for all things NYC.
Jessie’s Girl: the best 80’s band period.
I feel like I am looking at every Big Apple adventure through fresh eyes. Before my five-month stint last year in L.A., my vision was more than a little cloudy when it came to NYC. Now, I know with every fiber of my being that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. In the city so great they named it twice. The concrete jungle where dreams are made of.
And where it’s never, ever too late to begin again.
Apr 30
A New Chapter Begins
Two of my favorite things about living in NYC are discovering new favorite places and rediscovering old ones. Thursday, I got to experience both during a night out in Midtown with my good friend Derek and his boyfriend Ricardo.
The evening began at 230 Fifth, a happening hotspot for many years now, attracting a good looking crowd to its expansive rooftop with dazzling city views. This time, since it was overcast, I parked myself near the spacious indoor bar, enjoying a Shirley Temple with vodka. There’s something about drinking an adult version of my favorite mocktail as a child that hits all the right notes.
Boozy Shirley Temple = cocktail bliss!
Speaking of hitting high notes, our dining destination, Raymi did so and then some. The Peruvian restaurant offers warm ambience, friendly service and fare that’s truly delicioso. We started off with pisco sours and canchita, roasted unpopped popcorn that is sinfully addictive. I also savored my entree, arroz con mariscos (rice with seafood).
Over dinner and drinks, Derek, Ricardo and I talked about their upcoming European getaway, work and my exciting new job–Marketing Executive for The Pierre Hotel.
The five-star luxury property has a long and storied history of 87 years. It’s a registered historic landmark and one of the only hotels left offering white gloved service and elevator operators. I couldn’t be more proud to help tell the Pierre’s rich story–and more grateful for the support family and friends gave me throughout the five-month job search process.
During this time, I did something I’ve never done in my professional life–worked in retail.
Thanks to a referral from longtime dear friend and style maven Heidi, I joined her in becoming a Brand Ambassador at Banana Republic’s Rockefeller Center location. The brand’s flagship store, it has a deservedly strong reputation for both product selection (3 floors of BR fashion) and service. Being part of the team gave me a much needed anchor when I was feeling very low. And I have an even deeper appreciation now for what it takes to work in a customer service role. It’s harder than you might think and I admire people who make a career of it.
I can’t wait to return to hospitality, my true passion. Thank God for new beginnings.
May 6
Life In L.A. Begins
It has been nearly four weeks since I left my beloved New York for Los Angeles. And, as I had hoped and expected, picking up and moving across the country has been an exhilarating, emotional and revelatory experience.
All smiles at Yamashiro Restaurant with a panoramic view of LA behind me
First and foremost in this journey is the job which brought me here — Marketing Manager for the SLS at Beverly Hills. In the short time that I have been a part of the team, I have felt truly welcomed and utterly impressed by my smart, spirited and dedicated colleagues.
Altitude Pool: one of many spectacular amenities at the SLS
The hotel itself is a dream for a storyteller like me — rich in its design, service and food and beverage offerings. During a rotation at The Bazaar restaurant, in which I had the pleasure of sampling several innovative tapas, I told a coworker I was running out of synonyms for delicious and awestruck. Wow.
One of the best parts of this move – and a key factor in my decision to do this — has been the many wonderful friends and acquaintances I know out here. Like longtime galpal Natasha, with whom I enjoyed a girls night out in Pasadena, a charming little town not far from LA. And blogger/author Kelly Seal, who gave me my first taste of local Mexican food and margaritas at Mercado on West Third Street, a stretch known for great eateries. And my dear friend from high school Allison, who moved here from Toronto nine years ago and understands the inevitable adjustment period that accompanies such a huge life change.
I am blessed to know alot of awesome people here and can’t wait to catch up with all of them.
In the meantime, this New York City Gal is appreciating the differences between the Big Apple and my new hometown. Among those I’ve noticed so far…
Quiet. With its sprawling nature, LA has a lot less noise pollution than NYC.
LA is also far more pedestrian friendly than you would think. An amalgam of neighborhoods with varied personalities, LA has several walkable areas. While I am looking forward to eventually getting a car, I haven’t felt stranded thanks to Uber (much cheaper and faster here in the state where it launched) and Zipcar.
Plenty of New Yorkers live here. I’ve met them at work and out and about, feeling an instant kinship with all of them. But I’m also enjoying getting to know the locals. And looking forward to feeling more like a local myself. In the meantime, I’m truly enjoying the honeymoon period.
It’s truly amazing when you follow your bliss and it leads to an incredible fresh start.
Mar 31
A New Chapter Begins
When it comes to embarking on a new chapter in life, I’m rediscovering that timing really is everything. The time has never felt more right for me to take an extended break from New York. So it is with the happiest heart that I prepare to leave my beloved Big Apple for LA.
All smiles in Santa Monica (July 2013)
My journey to becoming an Angeleno began, in some ways, half a lifetime ago, when I fell in love for the first time with a California guy. During the year of that bicoastal romance, I was introduced to some of the West Coast’s varied attractions–from the charms of Santa Monica and majesty of the Pacific Coast Highway to quaint beachside town Morro Bay. Though the love affair ended, it was only the beginning of my fondness for Cali.
Over the years, I have enjoyed a weekend getaway to San Francisco and Napa, unexpected romance in San Diego and many, many trips to visit friends in L.A. It was during one particular visit nearly 3 years ago that my California dreaming began.
Longtime dear friend A invited me to join his wife at Malibu Winery to watch their incredibly talented daughter Ren perform outdoors. Sitting there in the sunshine with the mountains behind us, I found myself wondering–why have I never lived here??
A glorious afternoon at Malibu Winery with A and his wife Leslie
That question intensified when I applied for a job in LA. The news that I didn’t get it came as I headed West for a third time in six months. At this point, the question shifted to, can this born and bred New Yorker navigate LA’s car – based lifestyle? Was I really ready to bid farewell to my hometown, or just going through the inevitable weariness that comes with living in the city synonymous with hustle and bustle?
So I settled back into NYC life, or I tried to at least. What I found, though, was that it became increasingly more difficult to keep up with the relentlessly fast pace here. Travels to other places only amplified my desire to slow down. And once again, my thoughts turned to LA.
Despite the frequent rivalry between my first and future hometowns, I have always felt that New York is yin to LA’s yang. Opposites that compliment one another. And for this Big Apple native, there’s no other city which feels more appropriate to explore as a local.
Like I said, timing is everything. Two years ago, I reached out to a Starwood colleague who was making the move from LA to NYC. She graciously shared her insights about her life and career in Cali. We had the chance to work together while she was here, and stayed in touch after she went back last fall. She is now going to be my boss and I couldn’t be happier about it.
Along with congratulations and best wishes, I’ve received some questions from family and friends. Among the most popular–how can I possibly leave NYC?
Quite easily, actually. Having already lived in Sydney, I know I’m going to love the beach – cosmopolitan city lifestyle of LA. And I’m also going to love spending more time with A and my other friends out there.
And, even though my zip code is about to change, one thing most assuredly will not–I am a New York City Gal. Forever proud to be, just ready to adopt a new hometown.
The adventure begins April 10th!
Jun 23
Catching Up With A Dear Friend
Friday, I headed out to New Jersey for a night out with my Ohio-based friend Marilyn, her daughter Karen and son in law Russ. Marilyn was in town for her grandson’s high school graduation, so we were celebrating.
Marilyn and me
We went to dinner at Ursino, a fabulous restaurant located on the campus of Kean University. Featuring a farm to table menu and picture perfect views of fountains and greenery, Ursino is a truly delightful experience. Both the food and service are fantastic.
Over a delicious meal (kale salad, halibut and angel food cake, yum!), we talked about European travel, how romantic relationships develop and city versus suburban life.
As the evening progressed, I couldn’t help thinking about how much has changed for me since I last saw Marilyn in September.
At the time, I was very much at a crossroads, considering a move out of New York and feeling pretty down. Now, I can’t imagine leaving my beloved hometown — and it has given me so much since I recommitted to staying here.
Work remains a tremendous joy, as I enjoy juggling three hotels and my new title of Complex Marketing Manager. Family and friends nearby continue to nourish my spirit. And I’m nearing the completion of my home makeover. With summer officially here, it truly feels like a new season on several fronts.
Aren’t new beginnings just wonderful?
Mar 2
Catching Up With A Cleveland Friend
Yesterday, I headed over to Bed, Bath and Beyond, where I had the pleasure of catching up with my Cleveland-based friend Ryan.
Ryan and me
Ryan was in town sampling his delicious Inca Tea. Ryan and two of his college friends were inspired to create Inca Tea after hiking a 16,000 foot Peruvian mountain trail. During their journey, they learned about an ancient Incan tea recipe including antioxidant rich purple corn.
As a longtime tea lover, I love that all Inca Teas are non-GMO and made with 100% natural ingredients. Each individual tea bag is also twice the size of what you get from other brands. Inca Tea currently offer four varieties–black, mango, peach and my personal favorite, the top selling spiced berry. New flavors coconut ginger and chamomile will debut next month.
Ryan’s visit to sample Inca Teas in NYC and New Jersey coincided with a significant anniversary — five years to the day since my Great Dating Blitz.
Ryan was one of several fun, friendly singles I met in Cleveland, the first stop on my eight-week, eight city adventure. As we reminisced and caught up about life, work and dating, I couldn’t help thinking about how much I’ve grown because of everything I experienced during that eventful trip.
Cleveland rocks: (from left) Locals Diana, Ryan and Kim showed me a great time during my Great Dating Blitz visit (March 2010).
I’ve written and spoken a lot about what I learned of both the similarities and differences of dating in each city on my itinerary. And I’ve shared often one of the major takeaways from the trip — that the best thing about being single in New York is also the worst: there’s no pressure to settle down. But the greatest epiphany I had is one which has taken me all of these years to fully act on.
After my first dating blitz ended (a European sequel followed a few months later), I realized that a pair of ghosts — my deceased parents and first love Mark — were holding me back. I was so stuck on mourning those losses that I had little emotional bandwidth to move forward. I was also living in the past (literally) in a home defined by furniture, art and knickknacks inherited from Mom and Dad.
Now, at long last, I am completing what I started five years ago. I am embracing the present, buoyed by a decluttered mind and heart and newly redecorated home. I am appreciating exactly where I am in life, mindful that it’s different from where I expected to be but no less wonderful because of it.
A few days ago, I came across this quote–
“The only time you should ever look back is to see how far you’ve come.”
Amen.
