Last fall, when I was in the midst of a very painful depression, my brother and sister in law suggested I get a dog. The idea stayed with me–surprisingly given my personal history with canines.
Growing up, our family pet was my grandparents’ dog Teddy. A French poodle whose bark (or rather growl) was as bad as his bite, Teddy lacked the warmth for which most dogs are known. I nicknamed him Cujo–as in the rabid character from Stephen King’s novel of the same name–that’s how unfriendly he was.
Years later, I became intimately acquainted with larger canines when I dated a guy whose world revolved around short-haired pointer Miles and Weimaraner Jasmine. As crazy as it sounds, they became an obstacle to the relationship. My ex never stayed over because of them, while Jasmine was visibly jealous and possessive (Miles and I, however, bonded over being third wheels). When we were on a road trip, he called out “there’s my beautiful girl.” Imagine my surprise when I turned toward him and realized the compliment was directed not at me but at Jasmine.
Because of that canine-induced drama, I swore I would never get a dog. Ironically, it took another man to completely reverse my thinking.
As soon as I met this guy’s beautiful white mutt Zoe, I knew that she was a different, more loving breed of animal. In getting to know and love her, I also found myself feeling a surge of longing toward dogs I passed in the street.
Knowing that I wanted a rescue pup, I visited two NYC shelters and a pet adoption fair–with no luck.
“You don’t choose the dog, the dog chooses you,” Zoe’s dad told me.
He also encouraged me to look on Petfinder.com, which was how he had found Zoe. That’s where I discovered Benji and applied online to adopt him.
A few days later, a lovely woman from Second Chance Rescue called me. The road to adoption would include a phone interview, providing two references and a virtual home visit. I was both impressed and heartened by her obvious care and commitment to finding pets a good second home. I can’t say enough good things about Second Chance.
The more that I heard about Benji, the more I felt–even without meeting him–that he was the pup for me. Especially because of what happened upon receiving the good news that I was approved to adopt him.
I had a dream about my late, beloved parents. Benji was in it too, happily roaming around our family home, getting lots of love from Mom and Dad. It was the first time in a while that I dreamt about them. I knew in my heart they were saying Benji was indeed meant for me.
When I went to pick him up, he came right to me, jumped into the car with no fuss, then slept all the way home (probably tuckered out from his journey up here from Georgia). And just like that, this 19 pound bundle of shih tzu sweetness stole my heart.
Over the last week, every day with Benji has brought a joyful new surprise. Playing fetch with him. Curling up on the couch together. Sleeping side by side. I understand now what so many people have told me over the years about the unconditional love and comfort that a pet gives you. It’s so wonderful coming home to my little guy. He brightens up every day and is already teaching me so much.
I feel so blessed to have Benji. He’s everything I wanted in a dog and more—including being a great traveler. I have a feeling that on future trips, pet-friendly is going to top the list of amenities I look for!
Welcome home, Benj.
Years ago, during my Single Gal In The City days, a blog reviewer astutely identified my most successful love affair. That love affair is blossoming anew as I rediscover the many joys of life in the Big Apple.
One month into my job at the legendary Pierre Hotel, I am truly savoring every workday. From a picturesque location directly across from Central Park to talented and welcoming colleagues—The Pierre has reminded me why I love what I do. Hospitality attracts creative, dedicated and generous people. And it offers the opportunity to be immersed in everything that makes the Big Apple so special.
Over the last week, I’ve been to three Broadway shows (Present Laughter, On Your Feet and Cats—all must sees!). I’ve taken in the sweeping views from Top of The Rock and walked the High Line with one of my best friends. I’ve enjoyed a girls night out that included dinner at Rosa Mexicano in Union Square and seeing the always awesome Jessie’s Girl. And I’ve enjoyed a beer garden and five-star cheese shop in Williamsburg. On the work front, I’ve helped to launch an exciting upcoming outdoor event and I’ve become acquainted with a delightful, accomplished opera singer who shares my passion for all things NYC.
I feel like I am looking at every Big Apple adventure through fresh eyes. Before my five-month stint last year in L.A., my vision was more than a little cloudy when it came to NYC. Now, I know with every fiber of my being that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. In the city so great they named it twice. The concrete jungle where dreams are made of.
And where it’s never, ever too late to begin again.
Two of my favorite things about living in NYC are discovering new favorite places and rediscovering old ones. Thursday, I got to experience both during a night out in Midtown with my good friend Derek and his boyfriend Ricardo.
The evening began at 230 Fifth, a happening hotspot for many years now, attracting a good looking crowd to its expansive rooftop with dazzling city views. This time, since it was overcast, I parked myself near the spacious indoor bar, enjoying a Shirley Temple with vodka. There’s something about drinking an adult version of my favorite mocktail as a child that hits all the right notes.
Speaking of hitting high notes, our dining destination, Raymi did so and then some. The Peruvian restaurant offers warm ambience, friendly service and fare that’s truly delicioso. We started off with pisco sours and canchita, roasted unpopped popcorn that is sinfully addictive. I also savored my entree, arroz con mariscos (rice with seafood).
Over dinner and drinks, Derek, Ricardo and I talked about their upcoming European getaway, work and my exciting new job–Marketing Executive for The Pierre Hotel.
The five-star luxury property has a long and storied history of 87 years. It’s a registered historic landmark and one of the only hotels left offering white gloved service and elevator operators. I couldn’t be more proud to help tell the Pierre’s rich story–and more grateful for the support family and friends gave me throughout the five-month job search process.
During this time, I did something I’ve never done in my professional life–worked in retail.
Thanks to a referral from longtime dear friend and style maven Heidi, I joined her in becoming a Brand Ambassador at Banana Republic’s Rockefeller Center location. The brand’s flagship store, it has a deservedly strong reputation for both product selection (3 floors of BR fashion) and service. Being part of the team gave me a much needed anchor when I was feeling very low. And I have an even deeper appreciation now for what it takes to work in a customer service role. It’s harder than you might think and I admire people who make a career of it.
I can’t wait to return to hospitality, my true passion. Thank God for new beginnings.
One of the high points of my five month stint in LA last year was getting to know my colleague Inga. We became fast friends while working at the SLS At Beverly Hills, bonding over our long distance then-boyfriends and efforts to acclimate to California life.
Inga later moved back to Hawaii, her home prior to LA. We got to catch up this week while she was in town, during a truly epic girls day out.
Our first stop was Vella, a wine bar that used to be a favorite of mine. Time hasn’t been kind to this Upper East Side venue. The hostess was surly when I asked if they could turn down the blaring house music more appropriate for a nightclub. We were given dirty glasses that had lipstick marks on them, as did the replacement ones. If you’re in the neighborhood, skip this place and visit the far superior Uva and Vero.
Our second destination more than made up for the first. Mela East restaurant offers rustic charm, great Italian fare and wine selections, and fantastic service. Affable Italy-born host Enzo took great care of us.
While seated comfortably at the bar, Inga and I continued our wonderful, wide ranging conversation. We talked about career crossroads, why L.A. wasn’t for either for us, old flames, new crushes and the joys of having a pet (I’m planning to get a dog soon). About ten hours passed before we said goodnight.
Another dear friend bought me an engraving that says friendship brings the sun. As I come out of the darkness of depression, it is truly the light of all my friends that has gotten me to the other side. That and being back in the city I love more than ever.
Time and again, I’m reminded how fortunate I am to have a large, loyal circle of friends both near and far. Last weekend, I had the pleasure of catching up with one of them, Lana.
Lana and I initially connected through Airbnb back in 2010, during my European Dating Blitz. Based in Paris, she last visited NYC in December 2013, so it was wonderful to see her again. We met up for a late afternoon brunch at The Smith’s East Village location. The popular bistro offers a hearty menu and friendly waitstaff.
Over a delicious meal (I had the truffled mushroom toast, yum), Lana and I talked about travel—she was just back from Brazil and Bolivia—and taking chances.
Lana was supportive of my decision to try living in L.A. last year, yet curious about why I left a city and a job that I love so much. Considering how difficult the move ended up being, it was surprisingly easy to make the leap. Choosing to return to NYC after only five months out West was harder. I felt like I had failed somehow. And, as I mentioned in February, it’s taken some time for me to get my emotional bearings since coming back.
Thankfully, the comforts of being home and near loved ones has helped tremendously. I understand in much a more visceral way now why my mom said walking the streets of NYC gave her strength to weather life’s storms. I know this is where I belong and I am so grateful I found my way back to the Big Apple. As John Steinbeck once said–
“Once you have lived in New York and it has become your home, no place else is good enough.”
For over four years now, one of my favorite things to do in NYC is share a meal with my good friend Stacy. A foodie like me, Stacy has a knack for picking fabulous retaurants.
We headed over to CajunSea. Unexpectedly tucked away in Koreatown, CajunSea serves up seafood and more with Southern flare. The restaurant also has fantastic happy hour specials–including oysters and $5 martinis (the lychee martini is perfection). I enjoyed steamed lobster with corn and potatoes, while Stacy had a spicy seafood boil.
Over dinner, we talked about work, the Academy Awards and my recent big trip–on the second annual 80s cruise.
Like the inaugural sailing last year, this year’s itinerary featured nightly concerts with beloved 80s artists and awesome NYC-based cover band Jessie’s Girl, themed costume events (including neon night, Purple Rain and rock versus hip hop) and four Caribbean ports of call. It gave me the chance to reconnect with a lot of amazing people, most especially my dear friend Natalie, who I met on the 2016 cruise.
The week long journey was also a much-needed break from the negativity that seems to pervade so much of our national conversation these days. It was a beautiful reminder of the joy that comes from celebrating what connects us – particularly when that celebration has an 80s soundtrack.
It’s been awhile. In fact, in the eight and half years that I’ve been blogging, this–three months– is the longest I have gone without posting anything.
When a longtime reader and friend emailed to ask about the lapse in communication, I told her why. I also confided in another friend, and both of them encouraged me to share likewise here. So here goes…
The reason for my silence is that I’ve been going through a rough patch, navigating a difficult depression. I say difficult because, even though that qualifier sounds redundant and I have been through bouts of depression in years past, this one has been especially tough–intensified by the hard transitions ups and downs of the last year.
As anyone who’s gone through depression knows, it makes you feel isolated and hopeless–which is why I hesitated to write about it. Because I have always tried to offer positivity and joy on my blog. I didn’t want to let anyone down by admitting how much I’ve been struggling.
Thankfully, I have tremendous support from family and friends. Their love and understanding has given me strength when I felt I had none left, and reminded me how blessed I am to not be alone.
I still don’t feel quite like myself yet. And the adage one day at a time has never been more true for me. But I am grateful to be back in the city I love and surrounded by an incredible support system. They help me have faith that eventually, I’ll find my way again.
When you travel out of your comfort zone, it makes you see your starting point with fresh eyes. That’s what’s happened for me with my move from NYC to L.A.
A new job in the sun soaked city of palm trees, beaches (and yes, traffic) was too powerful for me to pass up. Especially since I had several acquaintances and a few friends in L.A. Having moved away from NY multiple times before, I naively assumed the transition would be equally seamless once again.
As indicated in recent blog posts, that didn’t turn out to be the case. Despite LA’s picture perfect weather, my fortysomething self had a much harder time adjusting to a new zip code than did my twentysomething counterpart. Trying to navigate a car-based city without wheels of my own (Uber notwithstanding) wasn’t easy, and neither was doing without the easy access to dear family and friends that has been a huge cornerstone of my life.
Then, there was the job I made the move for. The two colleagues whom I became most friendly with ended up resigning — as did my boss who was 80% of why I took the job in the first place. It was a perfect storm of events that made it impossible for me to feel settled in L.A. — and reinforced the fact that my heart and home are very much in NYC.
So very recently, for the second time in six months, I made a cross country move. And I am definitely looking at my hometown differently now. The things that I had grown tired of I now appreciate in a new way, having had a break from them. For example, the cranky crowds. There’s an intimacy that comes from living in such close proximity to one another that’s the opposite of LA’s sprawling nature. And I love love LOVE being able to walk or take public transportation everywhere again. Simply put, I am happy and grateful to be a New York City Gal once again.
There’s no place like home.
One of the greatest blessings of moving to L.A. can be summed up in one word — Molly.
My dear friend from high school, Molly has made it joyfully easy to pick up where we left off 25 years ago. She is a transcendent human being–loving, kind, funny–and a glorious reminder that good people remain good through all the seasons of life, period.
A talented, accomplished writer/editor and creative spirit, Molly is plugged into LA’s artistic scene. So I was delighted when she invited me to join her at the Annenberg Beach House in Santa Monica for a gathering of the Young Literati Club.
The fundraising event for the Library Foundation of Los Angeles attracted an engaging mix of Angelenos — and offered readings of Shakespeare from a high profile group. Among them: actors Colin Hanks, Mae Whitman, Shawn Hatosy and Constance Wu. The actors delivered energetic, witty takes on the Bard, making even literary criticism about him leap off the page.
Molly and I were also delighted to find ourselve siing at a highboy table during the reception with 2 lovely ladies — one of whom, Alexa, turned out to be a fellow New York transplant too. A writer, former lead singer in a band and retired schoolteacher, Alexa had a flare and bon vivant charm that made me smile when she revealed she’s from the Big Apple.
There is an instant connection when you encounter a New Yorker outside of the Empire State. It’s like an instant understanding passes bewteen you, a bond you can only have with people from your beloved hometown. When that hometown is New York City, you take it with you wherever you go.
Like the saying goes, you can take the girl out of the city….
When you’re adjusting to life in a new city, reconnecting with family and friends makes all the difference. Welcoming loved ones makes you feel more like a local than a visitor. I was reminded of this over the weekend when my friend from college Pam visited from San Francisco.
Pam and I hadn’t seen each other since our 20th Mount Holyoke reunion last year so we had plenty to catch up on. We shared a lot of laughs and conversation about life, love, career and the swift passage of time. And we did it while exploring some of LA’s iconic attractions.
On Saturday, we headed over to Dodger Stadium to watch the Dodgers take on Pam’s beloved Red Sox. It was the first visit for both of us and we were impressed with the stadium’s retro design and pristine facilities. From oversized bobble head figurines to bright blue décor, Dodger Stadium harkens back to a time when venues were named for beloved teams instead of corporations. And there’s no shortage of great food options too (Mexican fare and delicious fries among them).
After the game, we drove over to Santa Monica. I was pleasantly surprised and a little impressed that I was able to navigate us better than Waze or Google Maps. Even though I’ve been more of an Uber/Lyft passenger than a driver over the last five months here, I’m definitely learning my way around! Santa Monica was packed with pedestrians and the odd street musician as we strolled around the Third Street Promenade.
We stopped for dinner at Italian bistro Trastevere—B-minus overall, Locando del Lago nearby is much better—before taking in the lively scene at Santa Monica’s historic pier and amusement park. Then it was back to my place in West Hollywood for an evening of wine, watching the Olympics and more great conversation.
No matter how much time passes, you can always pick up right where you left off with true friends. So thankful that Pam is one of them.