With 2014 drawing to a close, I’m feeling the inevitable wistfulness that accompanies turning the calendar page. It’s been a year of breakthroughs and new beginnings for me — on several fronts.
As always, family and friends were by my side for all of 2014’s milestone moments. From celebrating the big 4-0 in January to making the front page of The New York Times’ travel section in August, my nearest and dearest made the joys sweeter and the sorrows infinitely more bearable.
For the first time, I found myself seriously considering a move out of New York. But after multiple trips to potential new hometown L.A., I realized it was a change of perspective and not a change of zip code that I needed. The experience of attending Oprah’s The Life You Want event in September hastened this long overdue mental shift.
The two-day event at Newark’s Prudential Center offered wisdom and inspiration from Miss O, Rob Bell, Mark Nepo, Elizabeth Gilbert and Iyanla Vanzant. One of the mantras that truly hit a nerve came from Iyanla–
“The life you want is on the other side of the labor pains to birth it.”
That’s when I finally (!) realized I have literally been living in the past. And so began the cathartic process of changing my home from being about my deceased parents to being a reflection of me. Repainting, decluttering and discarding has never felt so good.
Of course, no recap of the last 12 months would be complete without reflecting on my love life. This year, I have been reminded several times that people appear, and in some cases, reappear exactly when they’re supposed to. 2014 gave me the opportunity to make amends and reconnect with two significant others.
Just before Thanksgiving, I was reunited with someone special I dated last year. During a wonderful evening together, we effortlessly picked up right where we left off. I apologized for the times that I wrongfully held him accountable for previous romantic disappointments. As always, he responded with understanding and tenderness – reaffirming for me how fortunate I am to know him.
More recently, I heard from an ex-boyfriend I dated when I was in my twenties and then again briefly nine years ago. He too gave me and taught me so much during the time we were together. He made the most of the connection we had while completely respecting that we were at different stages of life.
When we reconciled back in 2005, I was recovering from a recent breakup and ended up hurting him as a result. I should have reached out to him sooner to say how badly I felt about it. Being the wonderful person he is, he took the initiative instead – giving me the opportunity to express my remorse and reiterate how much I will always value what we’ve shared over the years.
I am ending 2014 exactly where I should be, with a clean slate emotionally and the desire to look forward and not back. Maybe life really does begin at 40.
Happy New Year!
The holiday season is a time for making new memories and cherishing old ones. I’ve been doing a lot of that – especially today. Eight years ago today, my beloved Dad passed away after a lengthy, heroic battle with prostate cancer.
As I shared in this Father’s Day roundup of paternal wisdom, Dad packed a lot of living into his 90 years. He taught me so much about living life with zest, always seeking to learn and embrace new adventures and loving with an open heart. Which is why I’m so thankful that, for the first time on this anniversary, the sadness I usually feel has been eclipsed with what this time of year is all about: feeling blessed.
This weekend, I welcomed an intimate group of family and friends for my annual holiday party.
Along with laughter and some yummy dishes (including homemade vanilla pudding from my late grandpa’s recipe), I shared my home makeover progress: a fresh coat of paint in the bedroom, a completely reconfigured office and framed recent photos replacing the many I had displayed of my parents. If there’s such a thing as feng shui, I’m definitely feeling a lot more of it as this process continues.
Being the wise man that he was, Dad had urged me long ago not to hold on to so many knickknacks from our family home. But letting go of the past – or, at least, honoring it without letting it hold you back – is something that takes time to be ready for. I can think of no better Christmas gift than to know that I am finally in this place of embracing a fresh start.
Today also marks the seventh night of Hanukkah. I could feel Dad’s spirit with me tonight when I lit the menorah.
Rest in peace, Dad.
Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. I’ve always been a big fan of making time to count your blessings — and having a special day to do that with loved ones never fails to soothe my spirit.
In keeping with tradition, I spent the holiday in Delaware with my brother Ray, sister in law Barb and family. As we went around the table and shared what we’re each thankful for, I found myself thinking about how this has truly been a year of breakthroughs and new beginnings for me.
Back in July, I bid farewell to my Single Gal In The City blog after six years. More than a few wise, dear friends had encouraged me to do so and now I know why. Saying goodbye to my ersatz Carrie Bradshaw online persona created room for a seismic shift in my love life and how I approach it. And that change has paved the way for others too.
As I recently mentioned, I am in the process of making over my home to be a reflection of me instead of a shrine to my late, beloved Mom and Dad. It is quite a process, one which has illuminated just how stuck in my grief I’ve been. With each parental knickknack I take down and new self-chosen item that goes up, it feels like another step toward healing.
Then, of course, there is my job. A job I adore so much that my Facebook friends are probably tired of hearing me rhapsodize about it in my many “why I love my job” posts (I think I’m up to reason #530 approximately). I recently added The Westin New York At Times Square to my Marketing Manager duties for Starwood Hotels.
From my very first day, I could feel the energy and level of excellence that make this such a fantastic hotel. After more than two years with Starwood and being at The Westin New York Grand Central, it’s exciting to now be a part of the WTS team too. This new opportunity reinforces how grateful I am to have a job that I love, in a city that continues to challenge, inspire and reward me in so many ways.
With the holiday season in full swing, I can’t think of a better time to feel truly blessed —both professionally and personally.
Last Saturday, my dear friend Sara and I visited Parlor, a private members-only club in SoHo.
Tucked away behind a private, unmarked door on Spring Street, the exclusive 5,000 square foot venue is – according to the invite I received to try it out — for people who enjoy “making connections, have a love of fine dining, exceptional wines and cultural events.”
Sara and I enjoyed a tasting menu of creations by Chef Hilary Ambrose, a protégé of David Bouley. After a round of scrumptious, creamy pumpkin martinis (in graham cracker-rimmed glasses—mmmm), we enjoyed a three-course meal: smoked avocado puff pastry, couscous salad and pike fish for me, deer chop for Sara and for dessert, espresso-flavored ice cream. Our overall verdict: the portions were small but that was our only complaint. Parlor offers the attentive, first class service you would expect from a club that charges $1500 for annual membership.
Parlor’s low-lit, upscale ambience is very conducive to conversation. Sara and I talked about family, upcoming girls nights out (including a black tie charity event next week) and the importance of being true to yourself — especially when it comes to saying goodbye to people and patterns that are no longer any good for you.
It is, of course, one of the great rewards of being older and wiser; having better instincts about when and how to move on. Some people are only meant to be in our lives briefly. As I shared with Sara, realizing this about someone recently reminded me that everything really does happen for a reason. And that there’s no feeling more exhilarating than taking the positive from an experience and leaving the negative where it belongs, in the past.
I can’t help thinking of one of my favorite sayings, by writer Mary Wollstonecraft: the beginning is always today. I’ve never felt that more or been happier or more excited to live in a city where fresh starts are always around the next bustling corner.
Friday, I enjoyed an epic girls night out with my cousin Alexandra. We met up at Grata, one of my favorite Italian restaurants in Midtown East.
Attentive service, an enticing menu and cozy atmosphere make Grata a delightful experience every time. We enjoyed mouth watering burrata salad, spaghetti in a light lemon cream sauce and chocolate mousse for dessert. I also discovered the pleasures of French martinis. Mmm.
Alex and I had a lot to catch up on. I told her about my exciting new chapter at work — adding The Westin New York at Times Square to my Marketing Manager duties. She filled me in on what’s new with her and hubby. During our soul soothing four-hour plus conversation, we also covered a lot of emotional ground — reflecting on family, romantic relationships and letting go of the past to make room for new beginnings.
I’ve been working a lot on the latter lately, especially when it comes to my late, beloved parents. For far too long now, I’ve been holding on too tightly to their memory, and surrounding myself with physical reminders of them. After ten years in my home, I am at long last starting the journey of making it a reflection of me now.
Though I will forever and always miss Mom and Dad, grieving daughter is no longer the label I want to have define me. It’s time for a fresh start and looking forward.
Here’s to new beginnings — at work, home and most of all, in the heart.
Earlier this week, I headed down to Chelsea for Celebrate The Season hosted by InStyle Magazine and Single Edition Media. Held at The Glass Houses, a fabulous venue with stunning city views, the blogger event offered a sneak peak at seasonal beauty/fashion trends — and the chance to enjoy some fantastic cocktails and hors d’oeuvres.
I kicked off the evening by trying Flight Song Wine’s crisp new Sauvignon Blanc, a delightful find that I look forward to having again.
Another tasty highlight — discovering Gardein‘s line of meatless, plant-based bites. As someone who is a happy carnivore at heart, I was blown away by how flavorful the Canada-based brand’s fishless filet and chips, lightly breaded ‘turkey’ burger and rosemary pecan crusted ‘chicken’ skewers are. Yummm.
Among the many great brands in attendance — Sears, which showcased the relaunch of Metaphor, its versatile collection of mix and match items that easily transition from day to night.
Signature pieces include a faux leather dress, embellished metallic brocade skirt and knit sweaters with embellishments and asymmetrical backs. Best of all — every piece is under $100.
Elizabeth Arden wowed with a selection of bold Moisturizing Lipstick for the holidays (I love bronze berry/#35) and Untold, a sophisticated fragrance with floral notes and an amber base that I was immediately smitten with.
Buying perfume as a holiday gift? Elizabeth Arden’s rep at the event offered these tips: consider the recipient’s leading personality traits, qualities that best describe them and favorite time of day.
During the cocktail hour, I had the chance to catch up with Globetrotting Mommy blogger Lyla Gleason. We chatted about her adorable, fashion savvy five-year-old daughter, the perks of being a blogger and how swiftly time seems to go by – especially at this time of year.
After checking out all of the brands on display, we enjoyed a presentation of holiday tips and trends. Makeup artist Patti Dubroff raved about Jergens’ BB body cream. And one of InStyle Magazine‘s beauty editors shared her picks for amping up your holiday look. Among them: pastels (in makeup), textured waves for hair (the messier, the better) and flower accessories.
InStyle has long been one of my favorite magazines, with its accessible take on celebrity fashion and lifestyle. So I wasn’t surprised that the gift bag featured some fabulous items—including Balsam Hill’s white river spruce scented ornaments and Beautiful Textures’ hair gel.
Thanks to InStyle and Single Edition media for a fantastic night that reminded me all over again how much fun it is a New York City gal.
It’s been an amazing, action-packed week – one that has reminded me yet again how fortunate I am to reside in the Big Apple.
The fun kicked off last weekend, when I met Beth, a longtime, Massachusetts-based reader of my first blog, Single Gal In The City.
I joined Beth and her husband for drinks at the iconic Algonquin Hotel’s Blue Bar. Beth shared how they connected through a dating service more than 25 years ago. I could sense immediately what a great fit they have been and continue to be for each other.
It meant so much to finally meet Beth face to face, and thank her for all of her support over the years. When you blog about your dating life, it inevitably often invites feedback of the critical variety. Beth continually reached out with encouraging emails like this–
“I am getting so impatient for you to meet the right guy!”
The next exciting day was Tuesday. Katie, a business colleague, invited me to join her for a performance of the new musical, The Last Ship, featuring an exhilarating score and songs penned by Sting. After drinks and appetizers at Victor’s Café 52, we headed over to the Neil Simon Theater for what was one of the best nights I’ve ever experienced on Broadway.
The Last Ship is fantastic—a compelling tale of love, regret, family and life in a shipbuilding town. It takes you on an entertaining, satisfying emotional ride. And, of course, the music is pitch perfect, with two of my favorite Sting tunes featured — “All This Time” and “When We Dance.”
Katie, who works in the building, arranged for us to get a backstage tour after the show. Much to our great surprise and delight, Sting himself was standing on stage as one of The Last Ship’s understudies walked us around.
Katie and I immediately looked at each other and both swooned. Sting is not only agelessly handsome in person, but truly gracious. He happily shook our hands and signed our programs. Wow.
Thursday, I headed over to the Beacon Theater for Fresh Fall Fest, hosted by my favorite local radio station, 102.7 FM. The two-hour plus concert featured Nico & Vinz, Matt Nathanson, Bleachers, Neon Trees and Ingrid Michaelson.
It was so much fun dancing the night away to pop hits like “Am I Wrong,” “Headphones,” and “Girls Chase Boys.”
In addition to all of the above, it’s also been an amazing week on the work front, with new adventures coming up that I look forward to sharing soon. I’ve never felt the rightness of being in New York more than I do right now.
As one of my dear friends is fond of saying, life is good!
Saturday, I enjoyed a wonderful girls night out with my cousins Dana and Carla.
With Carla in Long Island and Dana traveling often for work, it had been awhile since the three of us were together. And we quickly made up for lost time with an action packed evening and delightful, soul soothing conversation.
The night kicked off at the UWS location of popular, lively brasserie The Smith. Over a delicious dinner, we talked about home makeovers (I’m about to undertake one), old flames and new beginnings.
Our next stop was the Empire Hotel’s swanky lobby bar, where I savored a pear martini (okay, two…) and some nostalgic reminiscing.
Among the funnier recollections: our adolescent affinity for consuming entire tubs of Betty Crocker Creamy Deluxe frosting. Yes—an entire 16 ounce tub for each of us. In one sitting!
After saying goodnight to Dana, Carla and I paused to take in the majesty of Lincoln Center at night before heading over to a few places in my hood, the Upper East Side.
As Carla and I made our way back home, I couldn’t help thinking how fortunate I am to have beloved cousins who are more like sisters to me. And, of course, how lucky I am to live in the world’s greatest city, a place where you never know what adventures and new beginnings are right around the corner.
When it comes to being a New York City gal, I have a confession to make—I’ve thought a lot this year about changing that.
After turning the big 4-0 in January, I found myself not surprisingly at a crossroads, questioning whether it was time to try a new zip code. The very things that I had grown to accept about life in my hometown began to get on my last nerve—the relentlessly fast pace, the dating scene and of course, the local crankiness on subways, buses, etc.
Case in point: Not too long ago, I was daydreaming while walking along the platform of the 4/5/6 at 59th Street and Lex. All of a sudden, I felt a sharp pain as someone’s laptop bag came down on my shoulder.
“Didn’t you see me? You cut me off!” yelled a guy who clearly has some anger management issues.
“Obviously, I didn’t see you!” I retorted angrily, storming off and thinking to myself: this city seems to have a knack for lighting a match with people who have short fuses.
Maybe, I wondered, the time had come to live somewhere more laidback and less prone to random acts of mean spiritedness. Somewhere that you don’t have to fight for every inch of space because there’s breathing room—maybe, even, LA?
I know, I know–a traitorous thought for a New Yorker, especially for one like me. I not only grew up here, but come from two parents who did too (Mom in the Bronx, Dad in Brooklyn) so being committed to the Big Apple is literally in my DNA.
A funny thing happened on the way to planning my exit, though. Like the ne’er do well boyfriend who keeps luring you back, New York slowly started working its magic on me again. The diverse array of people and places to explore, the thrill of possibility around every corner and yes, even the crazy hustle and bustle have made me swoon over my hometown all over again.
Living in New York really is like a relationship. There are ebbs and flows—and, if you’re willing to make the effort, always the chance to make a fresh start.